Friday, May 11, 2007

Fake FAQs

Frequently asked questions that I’ve never been asked:

Q: What are all those “buy Paul a coffee” buttons doing there?

A: Seemed like a good idea at the time. I really wanted it to be just a dollar for a cup, but the paypal service would have taken about 32 cents commission, so I raised the first tier to a dollar fifty to make it more realistic. Now if somebody opts to buy me a coffee I get $1.16 and paypal gets the other 34 cents. Also Sheryl copied me, and her coffee cup is a dollar fifty so we made it consistant. Sheryl did me one better though-- you can select the quantity and buy her like a thousand cups of coffee at a time if you want to. She already stays up too late.

Q: Has anybody contributed to your coffee fund yet?

A: Not yet but I just put it up there today.

Q: Are you going to change it to something more productive and meaningful?

A: I may change one or two of them to something “better” where the buyer gets something in return, but we’ve already got an online store where you actually get to buy stuff for yourself like art prints and photo prints and all kinds of adorned products such as coffee mugs, t-shirts etc. Plus we’ve got our spiritual healing practice and a few other web pages to maintain. In the meantime even a buck fifty buys a lot of good will from me. I'm easy to please, and I do believe that good deeds are rewarded in the grand scheme of things.

Q: So, why might I send you coffee money?

A: Oh, you know, why not? Maybe you liked my blog articles and/or the photos. Maybe you liked an ad I wrote because it made you laugh. The coffee buttons aren’t that important really. It’s just like a tip jar that’s really easy to use-- you can even put it on your Visa card. But this is getting embarrassing now. . . Do you have any other questions?

Q: Not really. I’ll get back to you if I think of anything. Do you take cream?

A: Cream, no sugar. Thanks.

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